Over the past few weeks I’ve come to realise a few things about how I handle my creativity – and it wasn’t nice. I realised that I was being very selfish. I was reluctant to release what was inside me. Why? Three reasons mainly:
- It wasn’t good enough.
- It would make me really vulnerable. Some of the stuff God wants me to write is deeply personal and I treated like ‘our little secret’ not because it’s bad but because up until now it’s just been between us and I didn’t see it as anyone else’s business (sorry). But as the title at the top of this page clearly states: “IT’S NOT ABOUT ME” then I have to get over myself and stop being a hypocrite.
- I would run out of ideas. I thought that if I wrote everything that is on my mind at this point in time to write, what happens after that? What if the well runs dry? So I was keeping it all to myself ‘for a rainy day.’ Then I was reminded of a verse that says, “Now may He who supplies seed to the sower, and bread for food, supply and multiply the seed you have sown and increase the fruits of your righteousness” (2 Cor 9:10).
Notice he gives seed, not a harvest. Why? Because harvest is the end of a cycle whereas seed always represents the beginning of a cycle. The more I sow, the more seed he gives me to sow, and on and on it goes.
Notice another thing: he gives to a sower, not to someone holding something in their hand with a clenched fist so reluctant to let go. I have to put myself in the mode of letting go. Imagine if a farmer wouldn’t sow his seed. Imagine he said to you, “this seed is in my hand right now and if I put it in the ground then my hand will be empty.” Yes, this is true, he will have to cope with and empty hand but if he holds onto his seed he will have to cope with an empty barn at harvest time and no farmer wants to do that. Neither should I.