So…I’m still writing a book.

In March 2010 I told you that I had started writing a book. Read about it here. Now in July 2011 I’m still writing the same book. Yes, I know, I’m taking my time. But that’s because God is taking his time with me. At the beginning of this book-writing project I said to God that I wanted the book to come from the inside out. In other words I didn’t want to write about truth that hadn’t first set me free. Little did I know then but I was giving him permission to lift the lid on a lot of stuff in my own life that needed to be dealt with. This has made for a longer writing process but a truer end product. Max Lucado once wrote, “You’ll never write better than you live.” Let’s just say I’m living a lot better than I was 18 months ago. God has been so gracious and patient with me as I have been on this freedom journey with him by my side.

 

I am by no means perfect but I do feel an urgency to really focus on the book from here on in and see it through. So I am writing this post today to make myself accountable to you and to say that – (deep breath) – if all goes well, I aim to have the main writing of the book completed by Christmas. Then hopefully in the New Year I’ll be able to start the process of editing/publishing.

 

Why am I telling you this??? Because you take the time to come on to this blog and read the random words I write. It’s not a pride thing but it means a lot to me to know that people read my little corner of the interweb. The stuff I write here has come from a lot of wandering and wondering and to know people are benefiting from the battles I’ve fought, won and lost helps me make a little more sense of my life.

 

Also, I’m telling you this in order to make myself accountable. It can be hard to be disciplined if there’s no one standing over you expecting anything. So, please, stand over me. If you see me, ask me how it’s going. Email me, Facebook me, Tweet me, whatever me. Keep me on my toes. As a reward I will post snippets of the book on this blog for your eyes only.

 

Lastly. Pray for me. Pray that I would be disciplined and focused as I write. Pray that I would have the wisdom to say no to other things when I need to. Writing is a lonely process and anyone who knows me will know I am very much a people person who loves being in the thick of it. Pray for grace during those days what it’s just me and my laptop. Finally pray for strength to see this through. Physically I really battle with tiredness and when energy levels are low so is my concentration and that makes for a difficult writing process. But also pray for emotional strength. I am baring my soul in this book. Pray I’ll have the guts to nail my colours to the mast.

 

Thankyou for taking the time to read this post. Thankyou for being with me on this journey. I couldn’t do it without you.

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What Road?

As freedom isn’t the destination but the road we travel. What kind of
road is it?

I’d love it to be the Damascus Road where Paul was converted (Acts 9). One minute he was a Christian-hating Jew, the next he was in awe of the God of those Christians he wanted to kill. One minute he was something. The next he was something else.

I like that. Sometimes that happens to me. One minute I am lost. The next I am found. The truth dawns like a shining light and changes everything in an instant.

I love that instant freedom.

But it’s very rarely I’m on the Damascus Road.

More often than not I find myself on the Emmaus Road (Luke 24). This is where the two disciples walked beside Jesus for their entire journey and they didn’t even realise it. So often I am like these disciples, I don’t see Jesus even when he is walking right beside me. But then there is a point where he gently reveals himself and my eyes are opened.

The slow dawning of truth occurs.

Then when I think retrospectively I realise that my heart has burned within me all the time because he has been there even though my mind never comprehended it. He was there all along and slowly I am seeing the truth.

I am inclined to believe that this road is the most travelled Freedom Road.

Killing the White

I know.

 

This is scary.

 

A White blank page.

 

It’s asking you to make a mark. To fill it. It’s staring at you and calling something out of you.

 

It’s speaking to a part of you that perhaps you’re not even fully aware of  yet. You maybe know the first sentence or the first few brush strokes or the first few notes of the melody but beyond that it’s a complete mystery.

 

This is where we make our biggest mistake. We think we have to know the last sentence before we can write the first sentence; that we have to know how the song ends before we write the first verse; that we need to know the full picture before we pick up the paintbrush.

 

But we don’t. That’s not how creativity works. That’s how faith works. They demand that we begin before we know how we will end.

 

It screams at us with such intimidation, ‘You’ll never fill me. You’ll never put anything of worth on this blank page.’

 

The only thing we have to do is kill the white.

 

Put something on it in order to silence it. Make a mark – even if it’s bad.  It’s easier to edit something terrible than wait for something amazing just to fall out of the sky. That rarely happens.

By putting something on the page you are taking control. You are refusing to be intimidated. You are making your mark. You may not know what the end looks like but you are making a stab at the beginning.

 

You are killing the White.