She slowly walked through the dry, barren wilderness
Weeping all the way.
Clutching the seed in her hand she questioned why her master would ask her to plant the seed here.
She sobbed and asked “Why here? There is no river, no well in sight. There has been no rain for so long.
How will these seeds ever grow and become the rich harvest that is so desperately needed?”
Her master looked down and quietly replied,
“Darling, that’s what the tears are for.”
There is always a wilderness
There are always tears
There is always seed…
There will be a harvest
Psalm 84:6 – “Who passing through the valley of Baca make it a well….”

New Every Morning


The hardest thing I’m learning in this season is that I shouldn’t be defined by it.
That’s really hard.
When you first meet someone and you have to partake in all the inevitable small talk, the first three questions usually are, what’s your name? Where do you live? What do you do? At the moment I have no answer for the third question.
That’s really hard
Everyday I am having to embrace that my identity has nothing to do with what I do or don’t do. It has everything to do with who I am. So who am I?
I am a perfectly loved daughter of the King.
Every morning I have to tell myself that. I may have no job. No income. No clue about the future but I am a perfectly loved daughter of the King. This never changes.
It doesn’t matter what I do or don’t do – this is what fulfills me and defines me.
The hard part is that this is not something I learn once then move on to the next thing. It’s like I have to learn it fresh every single day for the first time so I really am realising in this season that, His mercies are new every morning (Lam 3:22-23).

God is in the detail

Hey Guys
So, I’ve found myself in quite an uncomfortable season. I am currently unemployed. Yes. I said it. I have no job. My work contract ended at the end of March and it was unable to be renewed. I spent 8 wonderful years with that company and learnt much more than I can ever put into words. I am so grateful for the experiences and friendships gained while I was there. I was devastated to leave but I had to suck it up like a big girl and move on.
However as of yet I have nothing to move on to. This is such an unknown for me. I have never been unemployed. I have either been studying or in a job. I am very thankful for this and acknowledge God’s blessing on my life up until now for this to be the case.
I’ve decided to share this season in this blog for several reasons. The biggest one is accountability. I need to make myself accountable to whoever might read this. Looking for work is hard work and can be disheartening work. It can be very tempting to open up my laptop and close it back down again just at the thought of having to trawl through lists of vacancies that really don’t suit my requirements or  seeing how I don’t suit their requirements but I figured if I have some people following these posts then I need to have something to write. Therefore I need to do something job search related to have something to write about.
Also I want to give some perspective to this season. I want these posts to be a testimony of what God is doing for me and in me at this time. What am I learning right now? In the good and the bad. I want to share how God is in the detail – every detail. Even the details we don’t like. So that means this blog is relevant to you even if your job is secure, because we all find ourselves in seasons we haven’t asked for but we all need to lift our eyes, change our lens and let God re-focus us on what’s really going on inside us as well as outside of us.
In conclusion, these blogs will be a mix of practical tips and experiences and some more reflective posts. Hope you enjoy x

Surrender to the Season

Today is the 1st of September – the first day of autumn. 
I love autumn. Like, really love autumn. It’s is my absolutely favourite season. 
But it wasn’t always like this. 
I used to hate autumn, like really hate autumn. It just represented death and darkness and the end of everything.
Three years ago, as autumn was just beginning, God whispered these words to me , “surrender to the season.” He didn’t just mean autumn, but the season I found myself at in my inner life at the time. I was struggling majorly with anxiety and depression and all I could see was death and darkness and the end of everything. Yet he kept saying to me, “surrender to the season.” 
I was at the end if myself so I had nothing left to do but surrender.
Suddenly I began to see the beauty of autumn. I saw the brightness of the leaves turning. I came across a quote that said, “autumn is a second spring where every leaf becomes a flower.”
Yes, autumn is the end of everything but that end is called harvest. We survive the rest of the year by what we gather in the autumn. I realised that the end doesn’t always mean death, it can give us what we need to survive the next season of our lives.
However I only saw this beauty after I surrendered to the season. I had to surrender to what was going on around me and inside me in order to see the beauty.
Maybe you’re in a season you hate and all you can see is death, darkeness and the end of everything. 
Is God asking you to surrender to the season? If you do you’ll be amazed at the beauty there is to see.

loving the before

I am constantly bombarded with before and after pictures – before the diet, after the diet; before the hair cut, after the hair cut; before the fitness regime, after the fitness regime, on and on it goes. I love the after picture. It usually demonstrates hard work and tenacity and I am in awe of the people who have been dedicated to do what it takes to get to that ‘after’ stage. 

I am in a wheelchair, and unless a miracle occurs, this is it.

I don’t have an after picture. What do I do?

 Genesis 1v1: “In the beginning God…” God is in the before. He is in my before and He loves my before even if at this time there is no after. If He loves it, then who am I to hate it? I have had to learn to love the before.

I cant help thinking that the bigger miracle is loving the before.

Truths from my Sat Nav – part 5

INSTRUCTION NUMBER 5: Please make a u-turn

This is when you know you’ve really messed up. Sally usually tells me this when I have gone as far as I can go based on my own knowledge and it has done nothing more but get me even more lost. Doesn’t this sound familiar in our own lives when it comes to following God? We go the way we think we know then we end up more lost than ever, then we decide to listen to the voice that knew the right way all along. We need to make a u-turn! We need to admit we went down the wrong road, made the wrong decision, said the wrong words, hurt people, damaged ourselves and grieved his heart.

The thing about a sat nav is that it begins to re-direct you from the very point of your lostness. It doesn’t make you go all the way back to the start or wait until you find your way onto a familiar road. It takes you right from where you are. God does exactly the same. He loves you right in your lostness and will come to you right where you are and lead you from there.

God is a master at taking lost people and making them found again. He is expert at taking broken hearts and making them whole again.

As the hymn writer so eloquently put it:

“I once was lost but now I am found

I was blind but now I see” (John Newton, ‘Amazing Grace’).

INSTRUCTION NUMBER 6: You have arrived at your destination

And so you arrive…or do you?

After every turn in the road you arrive where you were always meant to be only to realise that there is another destination to make your way to. Sure, you may stay here for a while but inevitably you will move on, even from here.

After lot of journeying, wandering and wondering, these words are starting to truly define my life:

“It the end it was the walking that made all the difference. It took arriving, always arriving, to finally understand that it was never about where I ended up, but only how I got there. I hope I never get to where I am going” (Tyler Knott Gregson).

We will arrive, only to leave again and arrive somewhere else.

long road ahead

Truths from my Sat Nav – part 4

Here is the fourth instalment of the blog series entitled, Truths from my Sat Nav. For the previous posts please click here, here and here.


INSTRUCTION NUMBER 4: Take the next left turn

Sally talks to me very simply. She just tells me one step at a time, and following the voice of God is quite similar. Very often God will tell you to do one thing, then when you’ve done that thing, He’ll tell you to do the next thing.
Simple? Yes.
However if you’re anything like me you will want to know every step of the journey before you even leave the drive. I want to know what the do I do when I reach a certain junction 20 miles down the road. In my head I’m always one step ahead of Sally.
In life we always seem to be one step ahead of ourselves – we live in a rushing culture that frowns on sitting still.
Plans, plans, plans – we need to have a plan. A five year plan. A one year plan, a one month plan, heck, even a one day plan.
We need to have a plan.
We live by our to-do lists and putting things on it and ticking items off it. I even write items on my to-do list that I have already done just so that I have the pleasure of ticking them off.
We need to have a plan.
I’m slowly realising that all these plans can become sources of our security and identity. “Hi, my name is Lisa and I do blah blah blah.”
We can feel incomplete without a plan.
This is not how God intends it to be. When Jesus rose out of the water after His baptism His Father spoke down from heaven and said, “This is My Beloved Son in Whom I am well pleased.” This was before Jesus performed one miracle. He had His identity and acceptance confirmed before he started to fulfil His purpose. Everything He did after that flowed out of that security.
It can be so easy to use our purpose to validate our existence but we must not do that. We should NOT do that – it can be so dangerous. Your Father loves you and is pleased with you – end of.
This is my biggest battle. Living with a major disability all my life I have sought to make sense of all the pain and questions by making sure I fulfilled my purpose. I wanted to say loud and clear to the world that I wasn’t useless and I had worth. In my head I was saying, “If I can write enough words then maybe the pain will go away. If I can do a good enough job then maybe the pain will go away.” In other words I was trying to use my purpose in order to heal my pain. I can tell you now from bitter experience that purpose does not heal pain.
True healing from all pain can only be found in the presence and the love of the One who loves and accepts you no matter what. Spending time in His presence heals your pain and places you to fulfil your purpose – not out of brokeness but of true healing. Trust me – purpose and plans will come out of His presence.