i don’t love jesus

the other night a friend posted a question on his facebook status: “how do you know that you love jesus?” i replied with an answer along the veins of, “i love jesus because he loves me.” which is a perfectly reasonable answer but i wasn’t completely satisfied with it. i felt there was more that needed to be said but i couldn’t articulate it. the question continued to bug me until i came across the words of mother theresa. someone once asked her how she had the capacity to love so many people, she said she loved people because ‘they are Jesus, everyone of them is Jesus’. this shouldn’t come as a shock to us, Jesus himself said this in the bible, “what you do for the least of these, you do for me” (matt 25:40). but suddenly i got it. if that is the acid test for knowing that you love jesus, if that is the benchmark – then im going to be honest and say that i don’t love jesus. not that jesus. i love my fuzzy church jesus with all the nice worship songs. but i don’t love the joe bloggs jesus. the one i meet in my everyday world. not the way i should do. i am not as compassionate as i should be and i am so judgemental its unbelievable. but i think there is a little hope. for the first time this attitude bothers me and i want to change. so i repented, i asked for forgiveness for my apathy and i prayed that i would see jesus in everyone i meet. and that i would love him.
for the first time i have realised that for people to ever see jesus in me i have to first see jesus in them.

then i’ll know that i love jesus.